WHITECHAPEL TOUR CANCELATION, PHIL BOZEMAN, AND MENTAL HEALTH

Whitechapel recently announced they’d be backing out of a spate of tour dates with Thy Art Is Murder for frontman Phil Bozeman to focus on his mental health. While the decision must be disappointing to fans, it is commendable for the fact that not only has Bozeman chosen to prioritize his mental health, but for the manner of transparency with which he has elucidated said decision to fans. Rarely do we see artists be this real about their struggles, and I have the utmost respect for Bozeman for opening up in the way he has, knowing how unforgiving and nasty the increasingly-toxic online discourse can be. There are several things from the statement, with quotes sourced from the Lambgoat news story, I want to unpack here, after again reiterating my respect for the Whitechapel vocalist and applauding him for not just vocalizing his experiences around mental health but for confronting his demons and taking the more difficult but ultimately more life-affirming and sustainable path. From personal experience making changes and walking the road of recovery from obsessive-compulsive disorder, I know it is not, to quote Matt Codde from Restored Minds, "a journey for the faint of heart."

For context, Bozeman states:

I have had a traumatic childhood; I've been on mental health medications since I was a teenager. I started to come off of them because I wanted to. I wanted to try to not rely on medication months back. And it has had a very bad effect on me. I [have] been having mental health issues. I've been on Zoloft ever since I was a teenager. For those of you that don't know, the childhood I'm talking about is my dad passing away when I was 10 years old, and then my mom passing away around five years later from drug abuse and…Yeah, and from an early age, I was put on Zoloft. And that basically numbed me for 30 years. And I had tried to come off this medication before, and that didn't go well. I tried to stop to cold turkey, and that just did not work at all. But I tried to do it again recently, and I did it the right way. I tapered off. And, yeah, it seems as if… It it's not making me necessarily worse, but I've just haven't felt…because I've been numbed for 30 years, and coming off of it like the way I have, has been the healthy way, but it's also come with consequences. And I have not felt things that I should have felt in those past 30 years. And it [has], you know, really affected me [I'm] very, very emotional. And I'm gonna try not to choke up on you guys here…I'm just coming to you as just a normal person. I'm just a normal person, just like all of you. And yeah, I just…With the love and support of all the guys in the band, my family, my fiancée, I'm going to correct this. And [I] want to get better for not only myself, and my family, and friends, but also for you guys, so that I can continue to perform at the level that is expected of me. And, yeah, it's, you know, in this metal community, we, a lot of us, found metal because of, you know, having our own mental health issues, and that was the same for me. And yeah, it's, it's a real thing. And I encourage all of you who may be dealing with stuff like this—or whatever mental health issue that you're dealing with — is that you, you do seek help, you do talk to people you don't just keep it in. I've made that mistake a lot, and just don't make that mistake. Talk to people in your life, professionals. Mental health is the foundation of our life.

While I don’t know Bozeman and certainly can’t speak with any authority on the particulars of what he’s experiencing, I can speak to my own experience and what I know of the process of changing our relationships with thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Pain comes in many forms, whether it be emotional, psychological, or physical—indeed, I’ve come to find that these experiences are often not siloed, particularly when it comes to navigating our internal worlds in the context of mental health. Sustaining a physical injury is clearly one thing, but even then, the loss of the ability to perform likely will not come without some psychological and/or emotional cost. My purpose here is not to get into the weeds on this, but more to provide a counterpoint to the mainstream discourse around the relationships between different experiences and the relationships we can have with those experiences that is not all that useful and is often quite limiting. There is much we don’t know, and much that is not discussed or dismissed. Individual experiences will be just that—individual—and they will manifest in different ways. One area we see this intersection is when individuals in an OCD recovery context practice cutting out compulsions, they will often experience a wide array of physical symptoms and sensations as the body’s response, in addition to confronting the emotional pain and trauma that have been buried under the compulsions.

I am not a medical doctor and the inclusion of the above quotes and this discussion should in no way be taken as instruction or medical advice for the reader; one should seek out professional oversight on any issues related to medication. What I will say is that whatever method(s) people use to numb pain, including any kind of avoidance mechanisms, when we confront that pain, there will be difficult experiences we need to navigate. Mark Freeman has likened recovery from mental health disorders like OCD to an onion, and as we peel back these different layers, we will often be confronted with intense experiences; this is an opportunity for us to "confront those monsters in the wilderness," to quote Freeman, and practice changing our relationship with these experiences. This journey isn’t limited to any kind of diagnosis, though—as Freeman has stated, it’s really applicable to any kinds of major (or even minor) changes we make as we explore a healthier way of interacting with our environment, internal or external.

Dealing with traumatic loss would be no exception. If we’ve spent our lives running from pain and/or trying to mask pain, we’re essentially rejecting this part of ourselves that needs to be tended to with care and lovingkindness. Society as it is presently constructed does not only often pathologize normal human experience, but, to quote the band Torpor from my interview with them early this year, "Society in its current form is hostile to existence. We're all made to feel as though anxiety or depression are abnormal reactions to being asked to cope with the endless battles we all fight on a daily basis." This is, as Bozeman so perfectly states, where the value of community and supports can be so helpful, as we navigate all of the tumult internal and external, trying to make peace. The fundamental organization of The Angels’ Share is built around a communal space where we can come together over a shared love of music and talk about important topics like mental health in a nonjudgmental environment. It’s why I don’t do negative reviews. It’s why the focus of the site is on giving, not getting. All of this is to say I wish Bozeman well on his journey, and I commend him for recognizing the work ahead and and his generosity in sharing his most personal experiences with us when he didn’t have to. None of us "have it all figured out," so instead of tearing each other down or hiding behind a façade of cynicism, we should support each other in this thing called life. All my best to you, reader, on your journey, wherever it takes you.